Review: Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

Considering the Pirates of the Caribbean films were inspired by a Disneyland theme park attraction, it is only appropriate to start this review by drawing comparisons to real life rollercoasters. So if Curse of the Black Pearl were Thorpe Park’s Nemesis Inferno (a thrilling experience, with sharp turns and loops that make you scream in excitement) then On Stranger Tides is like a travelling funfair’s log flume: pleasing enough, but you might feel shortchanged as soon as you get off. And you could’ve sworn it looked better from afar…

On Stranger Tides was never going to reinvent the wheel, but it did seem to hint at a substantial change in direction for the series. The hiring of Chicago’s Rob Marshall suggested a fresh, slightly more theatrical approach would be adopted for the fourth film, while a cast reshuffle implied the shine would this time be firmly on the loveably eccentric Jack Sparrow. Furthermore, a shorter running time also meant that those left infuriated by At World’s End three-hour stretch would no longer have to worry about sore bums. Sadly, the finished product does not live up to its premises.

To be fair, the film does start off promisingly. We meet Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) in an atypical but highly amusing opening act which takes place on the streets of London, before being swiftly catapulted with old flame Angelica (a fiery Penelope Cruz) into a quest to find the Fountain of Youth. When we are first introduced to Blackbeard (Ian McShane), he conveys the requisite amount of menace and magics to be believed as “the pirate that all pirates fear”. And a scene in which the crew is confronted with what initially appears to be a clan of angelic mermaids quickly takes a surprisingly unsettling turn.

It is somewhere around the halfway mark that On Stranger Tides start to show the signs of fatigue that plagued At World’s End. The pace and momentum begin to drag due to far too much exposition. Everybody double-crosses everyone to the point of not knowing who is on whose side. The sense of dread initially conveyed by Blackbeard is suddenly absent. Even Jack Sparrow's quips and quirks, which have always been the series’ saving grace, seem to wear thin. And while we’re at it, what was the point in getting rid of Will Turner when he is replaced by another wet blanket in the form of a nervy missionary named Philip (Sam Claflin)? His platonic romance with mermaid Serena (Astrid Bergès-Frisbey, endearing) is surplus to requirements and obviously employed to placate the teens bemoaning the loss of Keira and Orlando.

So while there is no doubt On Stranger Tides will be a big hit with worldwide audiences, it is probably time to see this declining franchise set sail into the horizon for good. “Did everyone see that? Because I will not be doing it again!” cries Jack at some point. Is that a promise, Mr. Depp?  

2/5